feeling good

The Giants lost, New England didn’t win. And that’s all I have to say about that.

A new year is just the other side of the door. Another year older. I remember when Grizz finished his master’s degree and told me he didn’t feel as smart as he should be for a guy his age. He was probably in his early 30s then. That was just about twenty years ago. I wonder if he still feels that way with a lot more life experience behind him.

I don’t feel 42. My body has been dropping me small hints for the last couple years, little reminders that things are changing. There was a stretch in my mid- to late-30s where I really let myself go. I was pushing the top side of 200 lbs., had trouble sleeping, and was a miserable son-of-a-bitch to live with. I don’t know what life event made me snap the hell out of it, but I’ve been relatively fit for the last five or so years. The older I get, the less concerned I am with being a certain weight. I’m more motivated to feel good. And that’s something of a holistic feeling good. It’s why I started taking classes again; why I applied to the CCR program; why I like stretching the boundaries (only slightly) at UC. It’s why I’m going to go to the gym in a few minutes with H. She’ll run her 5 to 7 miles and do 20 or so minutes of weight training. I’ll struggle to stay motivated through the same routine I’ve been following since my first year in the AF, but feel good when I’m done. I’ll feel good when H and I do a post-work out stretch together and talk about the kids, work, how we should spend more time doing all the right things.

Another year older, though not necessarily wiser. Happier than I was last year, and the year before that. Feeling good about this year, and better about the next.